mariaelena

Feel.The.Adrenaline

2011-02-01T13:59:00.003+08:00

Too cold for you to keep her,

Too hot for you to leave her.

♥

2010-10-10T17:33:00.000+08:00

10.10.10

2010-09-18T21:53:00.001+08:00

I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE ME ♥

AFD.

2010-08-14T12:27:00.001+08:00

TIME HEALS.

Happy Assumption Feast Day all! Let's hope Mary carries my letter with her (:

o.o

2010-08-13T11:14:00.000+08:00

If I'm just gonna give up like this, call me an IDIOT!

If you're telling me this is the end, screw yourself coz i did not ask you! well i really didnt

It honestly aint easy going through times like this when you're so used to 'good times' lol

But hey, everybody needs a wake up call right?

If i've been so positive all way through, I can definitely go on.

Collect yourself, El.

I CAN DO THIS!

Over The Rainbow ♥

2010-07-28T15:13:00.001+08:00

" When I let go of what I am,

I become what I might be. "

There was once a lonely girl who longed desperately for love. One day while she was walking in the woods she found two starving song birds. She took them home and put them in a small glided cage. She nurtured them with love and the birds grew strong. Every morning they greeted her with a marvellous song. The girl felt great love for the birds. She wanted their singing to last forever.

One day the girl left the door to the cage open. The larger and stronger of the two birds flew from the cage. The girl watched anxiously as he circled high above her. She was so frightened that he would fly away and she would never see him again that as he flew close, she grasped at him wildly. She caught him in her fist. She clutched him tightly within her hand. Her heart gladened at her success in capturing him. Suddenly she felt the bird go limp. She opened her hand stared in horror at the dead bird. Her desperate clutching love had killed him.

She noticed the other bird teteering on the edge of the cage. She could feel his great need for freedom. His need to soar into the clear, blue sky. She lifted him from the cage and tossed him softly into the air. The bird circled once, twice, three times.
The girl watched delighted at the bird's enjoyment. Her heart was no longer concerned with her loss. She wanted the bird to be happy. Suddenly the bird flew closer and landed softly on her shoulder. It sang the sweetest melody she had ever heard.

Do you realise?

The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tight,

and the best way to keep it is to give it away.

and now, i'm giving mine away :)

I've come to realise that change is never easy. You fight to hold on, you fight to let go. But sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to. Life is full of crazy moments that will drive you up the wall, but behind all that is a story just waiting to put a smile on your face. I can look back at so many things today and laugh, although they were the ones that made me cry earlier. Thank you Jesus for making me the strongest person i never knew i could become. So many things pulled me down, yet You picked me up with a whole new oppurtunity every single time. Thank you for helping me see You in everyone, learning to forgive and forget.

Please, please let me be myself again (:

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

xoxo

xx

2010-07-22T20:28:00.002+08:00

my poor blog's dead :(

anyway, spent a week shopping in india.

feels good to be back i can say im a proud malaysian lol

being there made me realise how perfect life is back home

now too many things to look forward to here

cant wait for tmr, one step at a time :D

till then, toodles.

teeheee.

2010-06-24T13:56:00.002+08:00

currently ~~bitchin~~ crapping with YOSHNEEEEE.

2010-06-11T09:46:00.002+08:00

THIS TIME FOR AFRICA!

waka waka

:)

2010-06-09T20:05:00.000+08:00

one more elena, JUST ONE MORE!

2010-06-08T15:33:00.001+08:00

what sort of paper was that?

ZZZZ

anyway, too many down, ONE TO GO!

yeay

2010-06-03T14:09:00.002+08:00

lol know what, you're such a loser for giving up so easily. walked out of every problem leaving me trying to fix your shyt. what kind of person are you? sore loser.

words cant describe how proud i am of myself right now.

YEAY ME!

okay back to bio.

xoxo

2010-06-02T16:40:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry,

just give me some time and i'll be all hyper again :)

2010-06-02T10:51:00.003+08:00

so yeah, that dream did have a message. and i was so stupid to be ignorant.
i clearly should have known. pure bullshyt.
it wont happen again. i mean it this time.
trust me, i left a long time ago just to walk back again because i had nothing better to do lol.
but there's no freaking point saying you're strong everywhere and not being able to practice it when you face shyt like this.
plus, what am i to lose if i walk out of this picture?
LOL at least i saw your true colours. i should have believed everyone from the start.
should i listen to my head or my heart?
i think we clearly have the answer now.
and i AM still feeling quite happy and contented with life.
so it's gonna be much, much easier this time :D
xoxo

"EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER"

x

2010-06-01T10:21:00.003+08:00

dare to dream?

i dont know if dreams have hidden meanings behind em but i had such a weird dream yest.

well obviously im not gonna mention it here but seriously,

it got me thinking.

WTF MAN. if there's a message through that, it's just not good.

ohshyt, i feel so weird now.

I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW,

I FOUGHT TO LET YOU GO.

xoxo

WAVE YOUR FLAG!

2010-05-31T20:58:00.007+08:00

WORLD CUP FEVER YO!

im doing a double countdown,

to the end of my finals(june10) and to worldcup(june11)!

how cool is that?
.

ARGENTINA

.
BRAZIL
.
ENGLAND
.
GERMANY

poor ballack :(

JAPAN

.
KOREA

i used to be such a huge fan of ahn jung hwan. :D

.
PORTUGAL

of course, i'll never skip this xD
.
SPAIN

i bet over ITALY only because my friends took the rest.

honestly, i have no freaking idea who the hell plays for italy but that's okay, all we need to know is that they won last year!
.
.

WHEN I GET OLDER, I WILL BE STRONGER

THEY'LL CALL ME FREEDOM,

JUST LIKE A WAVIN' FLAG.

xoxo

♥

2010-05-30T21:53:00.006+08:00

C.H.E.M.I.S.T.R.Y

killing me softly

ELENA, YOU CAN DO THIS!

i just had my grandaunt and granduncle over, who came to visit my mum. and somehow me and aunt rita got into a deep convo about my future and all that and suddenly to positive thinking. how so many things can change when you stay positive, how negative thoughts kill you slowly, how our own minds can build or destroy us.

we are the creators of our own destiny, she says.

a cancer survivor, she was fighting for life a few months ago, barely able to move. today she's up and about, looking all pretty and so full of energy,

OHMY SHE IS SUCH AN INSPIRATION!

i've become so positive and so strong over the past few months, but she made me realise that life is so much more beautiful and there's alot more to it than stress and pressure and all that bullshyt. now im just happy to be me and im happy for everything else, THANK YOU JESUS. ofcourse, thankyoutoo aunt rita.

elena signing off, pray for me and chemistry :D

2010-05-26T11:28:00.001+08:00

dear jesus, please give mum all the strength she needs =)

2010-05-23T16:20:00.002+08:00

i finally went for facial like after 500 years lol.
song stuck in my head : BILLIONAIRE by Bruno Mars and Travis McCoy

OH EVERYTIME I CLOSE MY EYES,

I SEE MY NAME IN SHINING LIGHTS!

2010-05-23T10:07:00.000+08:00

should i listen to my head or my heart?

hallelujah!

2010-05-21T11:09:00.005+08:00

Now i've heard there was a secret chord

That David played, and it pleased the Lord.

Your faith was strong but you needed proof

You saw her bathing on the roof

Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you

She tied you to a kitchen chair

She broke your throne, she cut your hair

And from your lips she drew the hallelujah!

Baby I've been here before

I know this room, I've walked this floor

I used to live alone before i knew you

I've seen your flag on the marble arch

LOVE IS NOT A VICTORY MARCH

It's a cold, It's a broken hallelujah.

xoxo

tell me what i wanna hear.

2010-05-20T22:12:00.004+08:00

my head is all over the place AGAIN.

maybe i should quit worrying about what others think.

and i know this sounds weird but

i feel bad for breaking a thermometer earlier.

like i killed it :( DURING A REAL PRAC EXAM zzzz

god please help me recover from every shyt i have to.

xoxo

D.E.A.D

2010-05-19T10:57:00.001+08:00

M.E.C.H.A.N.I.C.S

people are crying over the damn paper!

and im here all emotion-less.

bless me.

2010-05-18T11:49:00.008+08:00

and it all comes down to believing again,

so let me tell you this.

i AM going to believe!

.
Jesus said,

'Ask and you shall receive,

Seek and you shall find,

Knock and it shall be opened to you.'

FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT.

xoxo

2010-05-17T18:40:00.002+08:00

OH DEAR CHEMISTRY,

PLEASEEE HAVE MERCY ON ME!

2010-05-17T10:33:00.003+08:00

Love me, Love me, Say that you love me!

Fool me, Fool me, Oh how you do me!

Kiss me, Kiss me, Say that you miss me!

HOMG JUSTIN BIEBER I HEART YOUUU!

2010-05-16T20:26:00.000+08:00

I HAD THREE DIFFERENT BUBBLE TEAS TODAY AND IT IS NOT FUNNY!

my tempting thoughts.

2010-05-16T20:13:00.002+08:00

so alot of people have been asking me to get twitter, something which almost everyone uses now i guess. and for some reason, im so lazy thinking that i already have this blog and facebook and friendster lol god knows how long i havent been in there. suddenly this strucked me, why cant i just twitter this blog? LOL as in do my status updates here just like how people do there. only thing i cant tag people and all that and this is a lil more private, well literally. and since i always feel like updatin but then get lazy thinking ive to write a long story lol. but if i suddenly feel like posting a picture or even writing a long story, i still can do. not sure if they allow that on twitter. yeah i think im gonna try this. lol TWITTER MY BLOG :D xoxo

BLAHHHH.

2010-04-18T15:20:00.005+08:00

STOP CALLIN' , STOP CALLIN'

i dont wanna think anymore

I LEFT MY HEAD AND MY HEART ON THE DANCE FLOOR!

manu : yeayyyy!

CHELSEA : LOLLLL.

need i say more? xD

the super huge chocolate easter egg at home.

nobody wants to eat it, my house is currently filled with body-conscious-humans.

i wonder how long ive to do the treadmill if i finish this whole thing. LOL

yes, i miss my long hair :(

i'm officially doing a countdown to my finals.

MAY 12th.

around 23 DAYS MOREEEEE.

will somebody switch on my nerd mode!

why is it that everytime i open a book, i feel like sleeping?
and note : i do fall asleep. ZZZ

andddd kimkardashian is dating cristianoronaldo?!?!

they're both idiots. PFFFFT.

TAKE MY BREATH AWAYYY. :D

i feel insane.

xoxo

some good nonsense.

2010-04-15T17:04:00.007+08:00

dear blog,

current mood : confused? WEIRD. mixed feelings.

.
it's my last few days of the two weeks off i had, i dont know if im waiting for the holz to end or not. but seriously, ive never seen time fly faster than this. nothing very productive was done but i did clear my list of 'things-to-do'. dad's back home and it feels great to have him. On the other hand, my partner-in-crime just left for aimst. although kedah aint that far away, it's still not here, you know what i mean. haihhh. im already missing her heaps :( fatzz, cant wait to see you soon.
.

now who's gonna be my camwhore partner? =.=
.

. .

anyhowww i missed my laser apointment yesterday thinking it was today! wtf like i checked the card just last week and i very clearly remember seeing 15th of april! and mum made me call the doctor today to reconfirm the timing just to realise the stupid card had 14th of april on it. now i have to wait till next week for another appointment ZZZZ. irritating much?
.

anddd i welcome all those pimples (not proudly), exam stress?

I FEEL CRAZY.
.

my poor kittens, the ones who TRIED growing up without a mum, all died recently. they were so adorable although two were black. i named the other one TIGER, because it was super naughty LOL i honestly dont know what to feel anymore.

.
something i received.

ARSE-nal, a team i'll never learn to love.

although some players are smokinnn hawtt!
.

.
i'm sorry all you arsenal fans.
just for laughs :P

and i like the way messi said,

'Fabregas has Arsenal in his heart, but Barcelona is his blood!'

sexy much.
anyway, i have a very strong feeling manu's gonna die to mancity on sat. blahhh we shall see.
.
xoxo

A Girl Like Me.

2010-03-21T12:52:00.016+08:00

maria elena.

nice to meet you :)

- i'm an eighteen year old wannabe mature adult, trying to enjoy the last few months of college without screwing up i hope.

- i AM weird. i laugh when i'm sad, cry when i'm happy, smile when i'm hurt and sleep when i'm angry. LOL

- i try my best to stay positive at all times,

because negativity kills.

- i think heartbreaks are normal.

- yes i love shopping but im not a shopaholic.

- at one point of time i was so addicted to chocolates, now i feel like vomitting everytime i see it.

- i love heels, have plenty but i cant drive with them on.

- i'm not mean but do not test me.

- even if i could change certain things, i wouldn't. I dont live in regret.

- i believe in miracles and nothing can separate me from my faith.

- which girl doesnt gossip?

- the doctor claims i might be bulimic but i think thats just crap.

- i love watching THENANNY.

- i'm surprised at how fast i actually can move on.

- i don't force attraction.

- i hate it when you call me a flirt, well hello, look at your-freaking-self!

- everything happens for a reason, so just shut up and go with the damn flow.

- i never give up, unless giving up is the only option left.

- dont feel bad for me, feel bad for yourself.

- i wanna be an airstewardess/model/actress/wtv, but looks like im heading towards medicine.

- atm, i'm very outdated bout the latest movies and songs. and im not proud of it at all.

- i think im gonna start my fruit diet because being vegetarian is making me fat.

- i'm proud of who i am, and who i have around me :D

- i sleep like hell-a-lot! LOL part of my hobby :)

- i call myself stupid if someone hurts me.

.
- i dont waste my time thinking bout revenges, thats for lifeless people.

- what anyone else says bout me is none of my business.

AND ITS NONE OF YOURS EITHER.

- i think eyebags are sexy,

but i have more than enough LOL

- i munch on ice when i'm stressed.

- i cant swallow tablets.

- i love kids, hence the pediatric career.

- i'm very into the colour pink :D

- i can worry bout my own problems, just MYOB.

- i love quotes, i believe that one line can change your thoughts about anything.

- even if you dont know me well, you'll know that i hate hypocrites.

- i look like a std 5 kid now with my hair short!

- there are people in my life that i will die for.

- i forgive easily, but again you dont have to test me.

- i am NOT normal haha.

- i'm sorry if i'm a heartbreaker, i never wanted to be one.

- i think trust is more important than love in a relationship.

- sometimes memories are worth the pain.

- i hate crying in front of anyone, but my tears come out easily.

i believe that sometimes all you need is a broken heart to realize that something even better is waiting there for you.

if you dont love me at my worst, then you dont deserve me at my best ;P

it's a week to my trials, but im here blogging LOL and i'm waiting for the manu-liv match tonight.

so thought i'd come update this dying blog a lil :)
.

xoxo
.

2010-03-06T11:03:00.000+08:00

.but.you.cant.see.my.heart.beating.

2010-02-21T20:25:00.005+08:00

FEBRUARY ; started. and ending veryyy soon. whyy?
.

anyway, happy late CNY and LOVE DAY everyone!

my cny holz were amazing, didnt expect that much of fun after my stressful results. yoshnee, thankyou for the super-tiring-shopping we had. kyle, ganesh, bryan, rohan, ram, sze, jeremy, ooi, naresh, thankyou for the two days straight! haha i'm very happy besides the fact i planned to study but obviously didnt. it's okay, a fresh start now. i even took a two day extra break from coll, haih. honestly, i need all the positive energy back. yes i love college!

my dumb internet connection was down a few days back and i had a headache trying to understand what the stupid streamyx lady was saying. yes my computer terms aint good, im stupid in that sense. so finally i managed to pull some wire out and fix it here and there, now it's good. but i dont get how this works because my laptop's wireless. oh nvm, as long as i can go online haha.

on the positive note, i finally arranged my clothes cupboard yesterday! and hell it took me 3 hours straight, of course with my maid's help. not forgetting i planned all my study plus gym&diet timetables. i think this is the FIFTH time im planning this year. it just doesnt seem to work. but there's always a first time :)

and so i'm having this convo with ming on msn, about hot footballers. talking about fabregas and persie, i just realised there's no hot players in manu, yes i support manu. last time because of ronaldo, and now like i told ming, im not changing teams because of hotties, makes me feel like an idiot. haha but really, WHO ARE THE HOT ONES IN MANU? plus they lost to everton in which arsenal won earlier this season by 5 points. pffffft. no i still hate arse-nal!

i.dont.know.whats.happening.to.my.feelings.

so many things took me long enough to realise, i'm sorry

but i wont stop believing :)

xoxo

with love.

2010-01-31T20:02:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 23rd ANNIVERSARY

MUM AND DAD!

may you both have many, many more amazing years to come

lotsa love.

i pray for a good february :)

2010-01-29T19:53:00.005+08:00

"YES YOU MADE ME STRONGER, SMARTER AND SEXIER!"

my little prayer :)

2010-01-24T21:10:00.007+08:00

In every need let me come to you with humble trust saying ;

Jesus help me.

In all my doubts, perplexities and temptations ;

Jesus help me.

In hours of loneliness, weariness and trials ;

Jesus help me.

In the failure of my plans and hopes, in disappointments, troubles and sorrows ;

Jesus help me.

When others fail me, and your Grace alone can assist me ;

Jesus help me.

When I throw myself on your tender love as a Father and Savior ;

Jesus help me.

When my heart is cast down by failure, at seeing no good come from my efforts ;

Jesus help me.

When I feel impatient and my cross irritates me ;

Jesus help me.

When I am ill and my head and hands cannot work and I'm lonely ;

Jesus help me.

Always, always, in spite of weakness, falls and shortcomings of every kind ;

JESUS HELP ME AND NEVER FORSAKE ME.

omggg just two hours ago i was laughing like an idiot with ming, sze ee and ganesh.

now im feeling like shyt, i feel so sick i can die anytime.

there's just too many things happening tmr.

dad's coming home, carmen's bday, my fav uncle's bday, he's not here with us anymore though.

and of course, AS results.

mixed feelings. no i just feel like an idiot now.

not everyone seems to be terrified.

ming and ganesh were laughing their butts off earlier when we spent like an hour in sze's and then a&w and then another hour in ganesh's.

well yeah i was having hell of a time also buttttt...

haih this is crazy.

i cant swallow anything now, i feel like puking, i know im not gonna sleep tonite.

what if i do real, real bad? omg?

im sure my parents arent ready to accept this because ive been producing results all this while

it's like im more afraid of what dad will say than knowing the results itself.

god made it such a way that dad's landing here just in time for the results to be out tmr.

i dont know if i should laugh or cry seriously.

im actually sweating now, and it's raining outside.

seee i knew i become weird when im stressed.

i might need them sleeping pills tonight.

my head is spinning. maybe im just tired after today.

and here i am blogging -_______-

and yes, im crapping. UGHHHH.

everyone's msn pm, well my classmates, all have something to do with tmr.

and earlier,

nikkhil : results coming out tmr.

me : YES I KNOW NIKKHIL.

haha im so sorry nik but really, i dont think i need anyone else reminding me.

HELPPP?

okay on the positive note,

I KNOW THIS ISNT THE END.

i can still work my butt off for A2.

i started college again being very, VERY positive and honestly, im lovin every moment now.

what if, well WHAT IF I MESS UP BADLY TMR and there goes all my positive vibes.

thats actually what im worried about.

first i felt like my ovaries were gonna come out, now i feel like my whole body is ripping off.

tell me im not weird.

and i just told nikkhil on msn im going nuts. and i just called him dutchead. WTF?

myheartwilldefinitelystopbeatingwhenIclickCHECKtmronline.

and you know why i can still laugh now?

me : im scared

nikkhil : why ah?

me : BECAUSE IM GETTING MARRIED TMR. -_______-

okay before i really faint here, i better go get some sleep. well SOME. hopefully.

i'm driving to coll tmr, yes i dont wanna kill ming on the way.

goodnightworld.

"i'm just a little girl lost in the moment"

when you go down, downnn ;P

2010-01-13T21:34:00.005+08:00

i like to pout, got a problem? LOL

BREAKING NEWS.

I'M BACK IN COLLEGE! HEEEEEE.

remember elena, stay positive.

I LOVE COLLEGE, I LOVE STUDYING. you wish!

anyway my night was awesomee. nott.

went to bed at almost 12 and guess what, I COULD NOT FREAKING SLEEP.

so i turned here, turned there, listened to my ipod that had NO BATTERY AFTER 5 SECONDS!

sat on the bed, started scribbling some crap on a paper and sooner or later i realised it was 2am.

so i went to bed again, TURNED HERE AND THERE AGAIN, and it was 3 freaking am.

decided to text yoshnee, ming and ganesh. yoshi and ganesh must have been sleeping like pigs because they didnt reply.

and ming,

me : DUDE I CANT FREAKING SLEEP. am i that excited for coll? geeeez

ming : you're lame.

me : THEN WHY ARE YOU AWAKE LOSER. pfffft

ming : coz your msg woke me up.

me : OOOPS.

haha then i decided to text savira.

me : swie are you awake?

her : why where's the fire!

another jakun. maybe it's because everytime she'll be the one texting me at that time of the day and i'll be dead asleep. LOL cant blame her. and we went on crapping bout some gym people. and later i finished reading my CONFESSIONS OF AN AIR HOSTESS novel, stupid STUPID ending.

it was 4am when i decided to text ganesh again, this time saying, I THINK IM STILL AWAKE. haha jesus help me! i knew his phone was on silent or he's deaf when he sleeps so yeah.

almost 5 something, i finally went to bed, just to wake up at 6 from a HORRIFYING, TERRIFYING DREAM. well nightmare, more like it. and believe it or not, for the first time in my entire 'college-life', i was ready by 7am. and again i texted ganesh! HAHA thinking bout it, was i really that excited to go back to coll?

in college, i realised my class was right beside the men's toilet. GREAT! actually i knew bout this earlier, but i was praying something went wrong somewhere. got an awesome place to sit with awesome people around me, just like last year. and i actually prefer this class. the toilet doesnt affect us, besides the fact we cant say we're going to toilet and then disappear for 20 minutes somewhere else haha! (it's not for me, it's for ganesh!) and somehow, i forgot that people actually freeze in college, i went with some transparent sleeveless top today, wanting to look nice and trust me, i was dying for the next 5 hours! not forgetting my eyebags thanks to the one hour sleep pfffft. btw, IT IS SO FREAKING HARD TO FIND RECEPTION IN THE NEW CLASS. suddenly it's there and suddenly it says emergency calls only, OMG? nvm maybe god is telling me, no more texting in class elena! it's been a looooong day.

so yeah, my results will be out on the 25th. well obviously im not looking forward to it. but wtv i get, i know it's not the end. i can still work my butt off for A2, and i will. my trials are in march or april, another OMG! six months will fly just like how one year did. and im just trying to stay as positive as possible. :D :D

'PEOPLE BELIEVE WHAT THEY WANT TO, AND SO IM GOING TO BELIEVE THAT I CAN!'

xoxo

2010 :)

2010-01-05T22:19:00.006+08:00

Another year is here,

Another one to live.

Banish worry, doubt and fear,

LOVE, LAUGH AND GIVE.

now who said i was ready to let go of 2009?!? LOL.

holiday mode = TURNED OFF! sigh?

am i really ready for 2010?

resolutions ;

-be a better person ; daughter/sister/friend etc

-be a lil more serious, more than '09 definitely

-remain positive at all times

-produce good results, i've to work my butt off for A2 and no i can't complain

-be consistent in my work, no tomorrow's.

-cut down on shopping (MUST)

-donate more

-start the gym again, at least 3 times a week ( i want muscles :D )

-use the treadmill at home everyday

-complete organ, start guitar

-pray everyday

-worry less

-sort out my clothes and accesories, GEEEEZ!

-sleep less and maybe i should learn how to do some housework

-smile and make people smile

-be happy everyday unless there's really a reason to cry

-spend more time with my grandmother

-NO regretting anything i do

-decide on my career

a lot eh?

2009 was an amazing year.

There's definitely a cause for celebration, for the unbelieveable life i've had so far, the accomplishments and many blessings, even the hardships because they served to make me stronger.

So many wishes were granted and instead of asking for more, i should be thanking God.

thank You so much, i know for a fact that i can lose anything in this world but You. iloveyou.

Just as gem cannot be polished without friction,

life cannot be perfected without trials.

Every problem i had, God brought me to it and through it.

and i know that everything WILL be okay in the end, it just takes time.

2010, i wonder what He has in store for me.

anyway, i just thought i'd come update my blog a lil.

i havent even been here since i left for aussie, or thailand? even better.

so here it is. :D :D

HAPPY 2010 LOVELIES!

may this year be as good or much better than the last for all of us.

(no im not greedy haha)

xoxo

Feu et la Glace '09

2009-11-30T10:29:00.007+08:00

TCSH PROM

i shall let the pictures speak.

.
..
.

.
.

now did elena not say she's gonna rock her prom?

yeayyyy! ;P
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tmr i'll be off to thailand for mum's 50th.

i dont even feel like going after watching 2012.

there's no way anyone can be excited gettin on a plane or ship after watching that movie.

and we're celebrating mum's bday on a cruise. oh jesus!

my sis has phobia of trans people. LOL i cant wait to push her to one when we get there! :D

and im guessing there'll be no facebook or anything once im there coz i'll be too busy shopping.

so yeah, miss me people!

btw, more pics of prom in facebook :)

and HAPPY ADVENT!

what exactly shall i ask for xmas this year? ;P
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xoxo

dont stop, make it POP! :D

2009-11-28T21:17:00.008+08:00

I FEEL SO CHRISTMASSY!!

i have no idea why my house is fully decorated when i'm not even gonna be here for xmas.

the picture below, spot santa and his son! ;P (beside the tree)

every year, i make sure they're both down there together. LOOL.

it's tradition, my tradition :D

now, prom status : 85% COMPLETED. yeayyy!

today was a very productive day. after stressing like shyt yesterday.

to my two lovelies, carmen and annishka, I LOVE YOU BOTHHH!

finally decided on a freaking dress, it's the black oneee!

thanks to yoshi for webcaming with me and annish who saw me model live today morning with all four dresses. heeeee.

went to sunway earlier and walked like idiots all around.

decided that i should go gold and black and a lil red.

im limiting the red, dont wanna match any taylor's curtains there LOL.

got all my stuff like in 5 hours? and did some boxer's shopping for annish's *ehem*.

those mannequins dont really give a very pleasant sight.

and imagine three girls in a men undergarments shop laughing like jakuns. LOL

did my make up shopping, i just have to learn how to freaking wear those fake eyelashes now.

tmr morning, i just have some very last min stuff to do.

pray, pray, pray i can find a good saloon open on a sunday.

hopefully i dont fall on my super high gold heels tmr and i bet it's gonna hurt.
ganesh already cursed me pfffft

coz IM GONNA BE TALLER THAN MOST GUYS THERE. hahah!

THEY'RE MY BEST FRIENDS.

BREAK THEIR HEARTS

AND I'LL BREAK YOUR FACE!
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im talking bout- pedicure on our toes, toes

trying on all our clothes, clothes

boys blowing up our phones, phones

DONT STOP MAKE IT POP

DJ BLOW MY SPEAKERS UP

TONIGHT, IMMA FIGHT

TILL WE SEE THE SUNLIGHT

TICK TOCK ON THE CLOCK

BUT THE PARTY DONT STOP NO.

the very cool fake mannequin.
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LET'S SEE WHO'S GONNA ROCK PROM TMR.
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the party doesnt start till i walk in ;P
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haha xoxo.

now guess who's back! ;P

2009-11-26T17:47:00.013+08:00

OOOPSS

I THINK

I FORGOT

HOW TO BLOG.

:D :D :D

it's like i cant believe everything's overrr.

6 WEEKS AINT A FREAKIN JOKE HUMANS!

my poor blog's been dead, my whole room's a mess.

since my last paper ended last friday, ive been up and about going to every freaking place i can get my ass to.

looking for a life again, LOL im proud for not giving up.

ELENA IS AWESOME.

in this whole week, ive just been shopping, SHOPPING, SHOPPINGGG.

just name the mall. heeeeeee.

movies, A CHRISTMAS CAROL, 2012. any old movies i've been wanting to watch again.

omg i feel freeeee!

however, college aint done yet for this sem, i already have loads of assignments piling up on my head. and it's not good because it has to be done before my holiday mode begins.

thailand, langkawi with the clowns, aussieland.

im skipping college next whole week for bangkok. ohdearrr.

DO WE REALLY NEED THE ASSIGNMENTS? pfffffft.

some old pics.

diwali.

AKON'S.

omg it was the best concert i've ever been for.

thumb's up chocolate man =)

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at one point, he literally fell right in front of me.
and i think my heart stopped beating.
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more pics on facebook!

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birthday updates.
nikkhil my darling retard of a cousin,
I AM SO SORRY,
i think the date slipped through my head.
somehow he claims i texted him, honestly i cant remember.
anyway happy sexy 18th, i know being legal doesnt make any difference to you. LOL
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bryannnnn.
ive said this before, im saying it again,
i am heartfully sorry for not being there for the dinner.
mum was being a pain but i dont blame her coz she had plans before me.
so happy awesome 18th, i know you had an amazing one!
and hope you liked the cupcakes. ;P
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things to look forward to this week.

NEW MOON definitely.

edward cullen, taylor lautner, they need me to see who's hotter :D

PROM.

speaking bout prom, I JUST BOUGHT A SECOND NEW DRESS but somehow im still not satisfied. the first one is a brown tube, short but i have no freaking idea how to mix and match.

like what colour goes with dark brown?

mum claims i look like im wearing my old prefect's uni. and that it's too short.

the second one is a black tube like dress with like one hang-on line that goes through my right arm. and it's not any longer than the first but black's always sexier. if i wear red shoes and accesories, like ganesh claims, i'll be wearing taylors colours which is a NO-NO!

so maybe id pick striking gold? oh dearrrr.

i still have two days to shop anyway, i need maximum shopping now.

and make up, photoshoots.

i pray it's all gonna be good.

lastly, just a little note to you miss.

i know very well that you follow my blog, so READ THIS!

it's funny how you can talk so much bout me to your friends but they are the same ones who talk about you to me. karma honey.

i cant believe im still a threat to you, proud of myself.

people like you just never give up on competition, it's the same thing thats gonna bring you down one day. or it already has? sadly.

i dont know what game you're playing, all i know is that im not interested and ive never been either. what fun do you get out of all this crap?

thank god im away now, wtv you're going through is exactly what i didnt want.

you just have to leave my cousin and her friends alone. stop making them hate you more.

and yes, so what if im the only girl in my gang??!?

those people are the same ones who live few seconds away from me, they go to college with me, i go out with them, they can come into my house anytime and anyday they want.

and you claim my dad doesnt know, my dad aint dumb, sorry.

IM NOT THE ONE WHO HAS TO LIE ABOUT THE TRIPS I GO FOR.

like how you did to your own friends.

and i dont go after my friends boyfriends, you really have to get out of the desperate zone.

so next time, i suggest you get your facts right before opening that poisonous disgusting mouth of yours.

keep following my blog honey.

and ENVY ME.

andddd, my blog has been pretty emo all this while.

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THAT ANYMORE i promise.

ive come to realise that that life is worth much more than all those bullshyt.

dont cry because it's over, smile because it happened :)

im waiting to rock prom and all my vacations.

it's gonna be a pretty amazing time!

and to all you girls who have some very emo posts in your own blogs,

just stay positive, honestly things arent as bad as you think.

if anything has to happen, it will happen.

cheer up loveliess! :D

to all you SPM-ers, gooood luck.

trust me, enjoy the moment. LOL

and thats it for now.

xoxo

take time to realise.

2009-10-20T17:47:00.005+08:00

" Those who wish to sing will always find a song "

oh dear, it's actually been some time since i last blogged. everytime i feel like blogging, i'd tell myself its okay i can do it after exams. but a few mins wouldnt kill :)

UPDATES.

diwali was super duper awesome this year. i had the most amazing weekend and it doesnt even feel like im sitting for my finals now. LOL.

anyway managed to do some very last min shopping with divya and saveen. omg i badly needed those new punjabi suits. thanks guys. and sav, i wouldnt forget that guy who kinda scolded you coz you didnt know how to speak punjabi and you're a SARDAR!

from one open house i had to pick, i eventually went for SIX! haha

gope mamaji's. godma's. saveen's. ishvin's. dadi's. yoshnee's.

thank you dadddy i love you :D

very happy with the money i collected, most imp we had fun! camwhoring teeehee!

pictures will be up once savira finds her freaking camera. because i do not wanna upload mine first then hers. might as well do it once. pretty annoying uploading pics on fb.

but mind you, those are some very awesome pics we have :D

eventhough im a lil too late, happy diwali ya'll!

yes ming, i'll pass you some muruku soon :)
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ELENA IS GOING FOR AKON'S THIS SATURDAY NIGHT!

i know although i havent gotten 100% permission, my ticket is secured. YEAYYY.

it's not my fault he bloody postponed the concert last time. anyway thank you god it still isnt the very stressful exam week. so maybe if i study real hard now, i can spare a few hours for the concert :D

just hoping menstruation doesnt strike. LOOL.

happy sexy 18th ganesh and savira!

sorry for the late post.

ganesh, my wannabe younger bro. LOL

and savira, my other half, partner in crime and everything else.

thanks sze for planning ganesh's thing (although i did help)

and savira, i owe you!

heart heart.

although i almost gave up on my alevels, thinking about it, maybe i should just give it a try. it's true that i do not give up easily. NOT AL ALL. this time so many things brought me down. sigh this is just not me. but ive come to a conclusion that it's no harm doing my best.

it's OCT 20TH today, only one more month for me to burn the midnight oil and die studying.

hope never abandons you, you abandon it.

what else do i need to think about in this one month? NOTHING.

i've left so many ugly memories behind and i know i can move on.

come on elena, you have to prove this.

i dont wanna disappoint anybody this time. i cannot afford to.

so yeah, to all you idiots who dropped my spirit, WATCHOUT.

if you thought you never had to worry bout me, maybe you should now.

and like i said, i've no time for all your crap.

so thats it for now. off to watch the biggest loser :)

i will be blogging again after exams, hopefully.

xoxo

memoirs of an imperfect angel :)

2009-10-05T21:06:00.009+08:00

and finally, IT'S OVERR! i think.

well it's not that i'm happy saying this, but it's a huge HUGE relieve getting every shyt outta my head.

LESSER UNNECCESARY STRESS.

sigh who would have ever known you'd be like that.

who would have ever thought everything would end this way.

but ELENA IS A BRAVE, BRAVE GIRL. you and i know why :)
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and now she has to freaking get her head back to business!
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exams. exams. EXAMS.

honestly the stress aint as much as those stupid spm days

5 compared to 11 subjects. major LOL. how did i even get through that?
butttt, discipline needs to find its way back! SIGHHH.
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anywayy, here are some of 5 SCIENCE 1's REUNION picss.

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now SADCASE no 1 : DIWALI IS OFFICIALLY DURING MY FINALS! ughhhh how sick can that be? dad already made it clear that i can only pick one, YES ONLY ONE!, party to attend. i'm at least begging for two so it makes it equal if i can go for both mum's and dad's side. sighh this is not a good feeling at all!

SADCASE no 2 : since i've been so busy shoppin for my birthday, I TOTALLY FORGOT TO GET NEW PUNJABI SUITS FOR DIWALI! o-m-g. i'm so mad at myself now it's not funny. for obvious reasons, i cant tell dad i wanna go shopping now just one week before my finals. but I NEED A NEW SUIT! beg, borrow, steal. elena howww!

my timetable is outtt, yes pretty long ago actually and i just thought i'll put it up here. share the pain :D

[ 15/10 - maths 1 ] [ 21/10 - thinkingskills 1 ] [ 22/10 - bio prac ] [ 27/10 - thinkingskills 2 ] [ 29/10 - chem prac ] [ 3/11 - phy prac ] [ 4/11 - maths 6 & chem 2 ] [ 10/11 - bio 1 ] [ 13/11 - phy 1 ] [ 16/11 - phy 2 ] [17/11 - bio 2 ] [ 20/11 - chem 1 ]

6 FREAKING WEEKS! i knoww. but it's good for last minute people like me. TEEHEE.

and yes, i've come to a conclusion that i'f im doing medicine which is most likely, i'm definitely not doing all five freaking years in malaysia! and daddy agreeddd. yeayy. well hopefully i'd be out for five years but probably i wouldnt survive anywhere with noone that long. i see a future full of books, BIG FAT MEDICAL BOOKS. and i'd be specializing in pedeatrics. child specialist. it's what i always wanted to do. so yeay, hopefully i wouldnt be changing my mind anymore. and mum has to STOP discouraging me. somehow she thinks girls shouldnt be doctors, well she has a point but i'm not gonna let dad down. so yeah, it feels much better knowing that i actually have an aim in life. LOL.

THINGS I HAVE TO DO AFTER NOV20TH!

- GYM, it's been at least 2 months i've last seen this place. although ive been suddenly losing weight, god knows how, i have to get back to gyming. i want muscles :D :D

- MOVIES, hell-a-lot that i need to catch up on. from english to hindi movies. and NEW MOON:)

- shopping, PROM AND XMAS SHOPPING! ive to get all my stuff for prom before nov29th and all my stuff for xmas before i fly to aussieland on dec18th :D well since i didnt shop for diwali, xmas shoppin shall be DOUBLE TROUBLE teeheee.

- a nice massage session with savira. and manicure plus pedicure. it's been ages since i last got them. girls need their pampering :)

- dye my hair, and GET A TATTOO! okay tattoo maybe not yet, but perhaps i can dye my hair this year. something diff for xmas. mummy, please?? and like i always say, if yoshnee can dye hers, WHY NOT ME! hopefully it works this time although ive been using the same excuse every-damn-time LOL.

that's it for now. wish me luck. i shall rock my finals. and i've a lot to prove to idiots out there :D xoxo

faith, hope and love.

2009-09-27T21:01:00.004+08:00

" HOPE is FAITH holding out its hand of LOVE in the dark. "

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updatesss people :D

1. ELENA IS SEXY EIGHTEEN! for some reason, it feels so good to be legal although it doesnt make much difference. mentally, i feel hell-a-lot more matured now. lol it's soooo excitinggg. anyway, thank you everyone for the wonderful wishes, texts, calls all day long. those who took me out, thank you. last year, i was stressing for stupid add maths paper. this year, i can proudly say i rocked my 18th birthday. THANK YOU ALLL.

2. HAPPY HALF CENTURY DADDY! after the very emotional moment at 12am yest of dad with his mum and siblings, all i wanna say is I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DAD! im the luckiest person on earth because i have you, thank you so much for everything paps! may god give you success in everything you do and many, many, MANY more years to come. we hearttt youuu. i hope you liked my gift :)

3. I MISS HIGH SCHOOL. after 5 science 1's reunion yest, ive come to realise that college sucks even more now. and it's not only me. LOL everyone wants to go back to school. sighh time flies. anyway, thanks suzzie for hosting the party, it was amazing. and im already missing you girls so muchh :(

4. *cross fingers* i hope all my patience is paying off. When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad, they have to get better. YEAYYYY! im not saying anything yet. elena is recovering a little faster from all the sick stupid mental torture. thank you, 'YOU'.

5. as usual, ELENA DOESNT FREAKING WANNA GO BACK TO COLLEGE TMR. however, i promise to start studying daddy. maybe like you said, i should at least try the papers. i will, god bless me. ALEVELS, ILOVEYOU :) ive been so strong going through so many things, one more wouldnt kill. elena, you can do this!

xoxo

her final note as a 17 year old :)

2009-09-22T11:52:00.009+08:00

the day she takes her footstep into the legal world.

one girl. one dream. one destiny.

SEPTEMBER 24.

coming soon.

here's a little something ive posted on my blog before.it means a lot to me.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

Love the people who treat you right, and forgive those who don't.

Everyone deserves a second chance.

In a day, when you do not come across any problems,

you can be sure that you are travelling in the wrong path.

But believe everything happens for a reason.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,

doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If if changes your life, let it.

Never frown even when you're sad,

because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

Nobody said life would be perfect, they just promised it would be worth it.

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Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

DON'T TRY SO HARD, THE BEST THINGS COME WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT THEM TO.

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nobody can imagine how excited i am turning eighteen. oh dear, it's a whole new world.
ELENA'S TURNING SEXY LEGAL EIGHTEEN BABY!

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the growing up days.
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LET US DO THE COUNTDOWN PEOPLE!

my final note to 'you'.

it's been a couple of months already and i've been thinking so hard everyday. it breaks my heart to think that maybe nothing was ever meant to happen. i try so hard to forget everything but as days go by, it becomes harder. and i'm finding all the strength i need to give up, not to carry on. at one point of time, everything looked so real, it was good thing changing myself for the better. but maybe we dont really get everything we wish for. like i always say, life goes on. as i turn eighteen, i tell myself i'd either make everything better or forget it all. looks like i have to take the suckier way now. everytime i make my decision, some freaking thing tells me that i should have hope. and mind you, ive been so strong you can never imagine anyone being like me. but it's a good feeling to have come this far. however, i still do not believe that at the end, the good people suffer and therefore maybe i'll be paid off in another way. i just wanted you to know that it's been so hard pretending everywhere i go and that you should have had more heart to feel this as well. it's funny how my poor blog has been so emo. LOL today's the last one i promise. it is time for me to wake up and realise that life is too short to hold on to things that do not make sense anymore. and i promised to myself that if you ever ask me anything, i will tell you everything from the very start. so yeah, the happy-go-lucky side of me needs to come back. and it only will once i get everything out of my head or if another miracle happens, for things to work out. anyway, i've gained so much of immunity through this and you always have to know where you've been, to know where you're going. up to date, so many freaking things have gone beyond my control and i try so hard to get it all back in one place but looks like im only clapping one hand. anyway, this whole situation has proved what kind of person you are or what kind of person you can be. you might have your own reasons but if you're never gonna tell me, how the hell am i supposed to understand? it's all up to you now. im turning 18, it's a whole new world like i said. and one thing for sure, God aint blind. so thats it. thank you for everything.

xoxo

her final note as a 17 year old :) [pt 2]

2009-09-21T20:58:00.012+08:00

ELENA'S TURNING SEXY LEGAL EIGHTEEN BABY!

she's no more that small school girl. (you know 17 still is considered a schooling age)

and heck, she's more than excited. :)

so today, i dedicate this post to all the people who've made my 17th year an awesomely tremendous one.

there's nothing more a 17 year old girl can ask for :D
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firstly to daddy, the coolest person on earth, thank you for always being my comfort zone. Through ups and downs, through good and bad, you've always been there for me and there can never be a better DAD. i love you so damn much and i promise to make you proud in every way. to mummy, i always knew God took the strength of a mountain and placed it in you. no words can describe how special you are to me. you've always been and will always be my inspiration. thank you for all your sacrifices.

diana, maybe having you after eight years was a different environment and i wasnt so happy seeing all the love for me being shared with you. but today as i'm all grown up, i can never imagine what life would be without you. so thank you for existing and i love you.

ELENA HAS A SUPERHERO FAMILIA :)
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to the two other sexy ladies in my life.

godma, you've been the best and i am so proud to have a godmother like you. thank you so much for the guidance you've given me and for always supporting my decisions. i'm glad you're mum's sis, because i can run to you everytime i fight with her. thank you for everything.

dadima, you're my one and only grandparent and you mean the whole world to me. although i feel the presence of the rest with me, it's always different to have someone beside you sharing old stories and jokes. it's hard to find words to describe how special you are to me. i love you so much dadima.
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SAVIRAA. my partner in crime. omg there's just so many things to say and i do not know where to begin. well, of course, thank you for existing. i dont want to imagine what life would be without having someone to share crazy moments, painful times, funny stories, every-damn-thing. you know how much i love youu. not everyone is as lucky to have a same age cousin :) phone calls, texts every damn day! LOL i think i wanna marry you :D anyway, you know how emotional i can get and i better not start here. thank you for always being there for me. I LOVEEE YOU.
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to everyone else both mum's and dad's side, i am very VERY proud to be a part of this family. touch wood, there can never be anything else you can ask for in a family. everyone of you have made my life extraordinary and all the wonderful moments will be kept in my heart forever. thank you for everything and i love you all so much :D
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PUSS PUSS, thank you for all the good times you put a smile on my face. noone will ever understand how it feels like to lose something you've given so much of love to in a very short period of time. thank you for all the happiness you've brought to my house, nothing will ever beat that. i miss you so much i swear. every cat reminds me of you and it's not easy. but at least, i love them all thinking of you. i know you're watching over me from somewhere up there, you're my greatest treasure. i love you.
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here's to the awesome girls and boy who've made a difference in my life. rebecca, adopted sharma, LOL, thank you for teaching me the value of friendship in my childhood days. it feels so good having so many stories of how we grew up together. thank you for everything. jamie, carmen and annishka, thank you for making my high school life so much easier. having so many different things to do in school wasnt easy, but having you girls gave me a lot more space to do things my way. i love you all so much and i'm missing you girls heaps! yoshnee, for always pushing me through the hardest of times. you made me do things i never thought was possible. thank you also for sharing all my pain. nipun, my long lost bestie LOL, thank you for believing in me everytime i didnt believe in myself. your words of wisdom is something that will forever motivate me. thank you.
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and here's to the guys who've added so much of spice into my life.

manloong, ganesh, bryan, sze ee, kyle, jeremy, ram, rohan, ooi, sam, naresh and darshini. thank you so much for helping me see this world in a different perspective. all our fun and laughter filled days, sometimes i wonder why i never met you guys earlier. anyhow, i appreciate every single moment we had and no other people or thing will replace any of your places in my heart.thank you also for being there for me during bad times like the stupid hospital stay. bry's car was scratched prac because of me although ganesh did it ;P honestly, i've never felt so protected or comfortable in just a bunch of guys. and it is so freaking different with all of you. i can be in the worst of days but still have so much of fun. coming from an all-girls school and ending in a group with mostly guys, it's not a common thing. Lol. you guys have certainly made my 17th year so special and so many things makes me feel like you guys are part of me already.some people make the world special by just being in it and you guys are some of them. it breaks my heart to think that one day i might have to part away. good times dont last forever. but we will all just be an email away ryte? :) it isnt easy to say this face to face, but you guys are just the most amazing people i've ever met and i love you'll to death. oh dear, emooo. it's okay. it takes one girl to bring all your ego down! you guys are more blood than water to me now. and you guys are like four leaf clovers, HARD TO FIND BUT LUCKY TO HAVE :D. so thank you very much for all the fond memories and it's my bday wish that we have many many more awesome years together.
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IM INDEED VERY PROUD TO BE A PART OF YOUR GANG. i love you'll.
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my awesomely hillarious tuition gang.thank you so much guys for showing me that studying doesnt neccesarily need to be stressful. all our parties, performances, tests, stupid results, practices for dancing, everything will be cherished forever. there can never be any other bunch of people who can have so much of fun studying LOL you guys are the best. thank you for all the memories. i miss you guys so badly already. none of you know how much i wanna turn back time to those form 5 days. but anyway, life goes on. as hard as it sounds, we all have to go through it right. so thank you. at least if i look back today, i can proudly say how much of fun i've had in tuition. and i dont think anyone else can say that. i love you guys so much!
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to everyone else. my sunday school friends, sundays could never have been more fun. all our confirmation projects, i'm missing all those times. my college friends, you guys are the only reason i look forward to college days. nothing else makes me feel better in college. :) my ex-school friends,i still always recall all our fun times in school. and all the shyt we do even as prefects, LOL i miss being a school girl. and i miss all of you heaps. my temple friends, you guys have also been the best. thanks for all the great times. and finally, DBF, you people showed me the meaning of patience. being in almost every other thing in school wasnt easy, to add on to it, having a dance group. but you guys pulled me through all those suffocating moments and i'm prac still alive today because of you'll. so thank you everyone for everything. i love you guys too.
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and finally, Interact and ICC. all my positions. vice prez icsmka, info officer iccpj. it's been one of the best times of my life. i know half the people today because of this and nothing can express how grateful i am having been given these chances. i carry with me so many wonderful memories of the past and half of it is due to this. thank you everyone for this amazing experience. all the ups and downs we've been through, OMG IM MISSING THOSE DAYS SO BADLY! :( anyhow i love you guys and will never forget any of those times. ily
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dear Lord, i thank you with all my heart for everything i have today. like i said, there's nothing more a 17 year old girl can ask for. you've made my 17th year so special, so many wonderful things has happened to me. nowadays i feel so bad asking for more, and i want you to know that for the little things that i dont get, it's okay, you've given me everything i've asked for before this. thank you for family and friends. my life would be nothing and nowhere without them. thank you for the six miracles you granted me in just one week, my succesful scope, for helping me pass my driving test and for my new car, for 10a's in SPM, for recovery in the stupid laser and for 'the text'. thank you jesus. as i turn 18, i pray for guidance and success in all the things i do. i hope to have another awesome year. thank you. :)

" I WOULD THANK YOU'LL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART,

BUT FOR YOU'LL MY HEART HAS NO BOTTOM "
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the ugly truth :)

2009-09-13T22:24:00.000+08:00

" Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak,

sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. "

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an hour ago, i typed this very long and bitter post. but somehow, i didnt feel like posting it so i deleted the whole damn thing. sigh. aint in the mood to bang anyone.

and now, i cannot freaking sleep. it's crazy how i've been going on for days with sleepless nights.

my eyebags can get into the book of world records. no joke.

anyway, two weeks of holz and life seems so perfect suddenly.

oh no, it aint because of some shit-ass stuff bugging me. i'm waiting to clear it dude!

i'll be turning sexy eighteen very soon, it's a whole new world baby!

if i dont make things better, i have to get over everything.

YOU CAN DO THIS ELENA. you have to.

that's all for now.

good night.

where rainbows end.

2009-09-10T20:54:00.004+08:00

my life in a song.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry

Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me

There are days

Every now and again I pretend i'm okay but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most, was being so close

having so much to say

watchin you walk away

Never knowing, what could have been

And not seein that lovin you

Is what I was tryin to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But i'm doin it

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and i'm alone

Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken

What hurts the most, is being so close

having so much to say

watchin you walk away

Never knowing, what could have been

And not seein that lovin you

Is what I was tryin to do

I'm not afraid to cry

Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me

There are days

Every now and again I pretend i'm okay but that's not what gets me

my sister, my friend forever ♥ ♥

2009-09-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

HAPPY ONE DECADE DIANA!

though i put our relationship through some cloudy days,

you've been my sunshine in so many ways.

thank you so much my sister, my friend,

my gratitude for you has no end.

.
some very, very old embarassing pics. spot diana.

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the other two are me and savira. she's gonna kill me for this xD
.
.
I STILL LOVE YOU, D.
.
.
HAPPY BELATED MERDEKA, malaysians!
(the best malaysian painting i've ever seen)
.
.
xoxo

falling for an angel ♥ ♥

2009-08-28T21:55:00.006+08:00

AND I'LL GO.

the long December rain is falling now,

running down on streets to nowhere,

music is my life you're my sweetest nightingale,

but i can't hear it here no more.

AND I'LL GO.

hujan lebat mencurah kini,

bagaikan tiada henti,

kaulah laguku kau irama terindah,

tak lagi kudengari.

KAU PERGI.

.
-talentime's I'LL GO/PERGI by pete yeo/aizat-

.
the movie i watched SIX times in THREE days.

one of yasmin ahmad's best films casting young talented people from different walks of life.

a story full of joy and pain, hope and despair.

with a host of beautifully written songs.
.
it's currently playing on astro box office and watching it over and over again isnt making me sick but pulling me more and more into the story. oh dear, and my trials are just days away.

i even composed the song I'LL GO on my organ :D

.
the cast.

speech and hearing impaired boy who falls in love with melur.

one of the seven finalists of the talentime competition organised by her school.

one more of the seven finalists.

has a cancer striken mother who eventually dies.

the best looking person in the film definitely.

also one of the seven finalists.

eventually gives up his competition for hafiz. (the part that made me cry)

mahesh's sister.

.
somebody needs to get rid of the ABO channel at home.

anyway that's it for now. i'm just still very hyper about this movie.

it IS an awesome movie. thumbs up yasmin!

and btw, i will try to get the song up on my blog soon!

ELENA HAS TO STUDYYYY.

xoxo

because i believe.

2009-08-16T21:04:00.002+08:00

I believe for every drop

of rain that falls, a flower grows.

I believe that somewhere

in the darkest night, a candle glows.

I believe for every one

who goes astray,

someone will come,

to show the way.

BECAUSE I BELIEVE.

I believe above the storm,

the smallest prayer

will still be heard.

I believe that someone

in the great somewhere,

hears every word.

BECAUSE I BELIEVE.

take me as i am :)

2009-08-16T10:16:00.010+08:00

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."

elena is back to blogging. it's a beautiful sunday, i'm feeling much better than usual, besides the fact that i think i'm gonna fall sick again. i'm still upset malaysia lost in the badminton doubles semi-finals match yesterday. but they played well. thumbs up! everytime i don't blog, i feel like there's trezillion things to blog about. days pass, things are forgotten. very usual stuff. so now when i'm actually at the computer, i have no idea what to type. SIGHH.

these are the family photoshoot pics. my uncle has not been photoshopped in yet so it's not the final ones. but anyway, i'm loving them!

the 1991's

the kiddos of the familia

my awesome fam.

dadi with the second generation.

the third and most awesome generation LOL

with our favourite uncle, CHA CHA we love you!

when they were all waiting for me!

pretty-fying my self in the room! OOOPS.
.

the main photos.

I LURVEEE THE PUNJABI SIDE OF MY FAMILYYY.

more pics in my latest album on fb, the fantabulous familia.

the kitten behind my house transferred to the front now. and it is so cute. coming to what me and mum have been thinking about, it's our Puss Puss's brother/sister. yet to know the gender. or maybe Puss reincarnated! i have a new friend!

and PUSS PUSS, i miss you so-damn-much.

i will never forget the times you put a smile on my face. ily.
.

.
story no 3, we finally went to MCKL again. i did miss all of them heaps. bry, sze, bhinesh, dini, saveen, edward, waihoe, and everyone else. besides the fact we had some miscommunication problems before i left taylors. sorry sze, bry. i know you both still love me! dini was sick unfortunately, hope you're feeling much better hun. xx

bhinesh : so hows college?

savira : better than yours.

yes it was her first time to mckl, she surely did have fun. xD
.

the continuation of my story. i've come to realise that sometimes whatever you wish for doesn't neccesarily come to you. i know God has always been giving me everything i wanted, i feel like a miracle child, and i do feel bad for asking more. each time i think about the whole situation, i go back to see about why the hell i'm feeling so upset when there might be a different meaning to whatever's happening. be positive elena. you can do this! i quote, perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears so that we can see life with a clearer view again.

and so my freaking trials are in two weeks time and i'm already going crazy. i know nuts about chemistry! there's like nothing for me to look forward to besides my birthday.

so it's trials, my birthday, FINALS! sighh. i need a time machine badly.

i shall be taking a short break from blogging.

and lastly, happy assumption feast day!

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my current addiction : heartbreaker by will i am and cheryl cole. (i know it's old)
.

XOXO

tell me why.

2009-08-08T22:09:00.007+08:00

i don't know what i'm currently feeling but what i know is that i definitely should not be feeling this way. on one hand, i'm happy with everything i have and on the other, i'm upset because some things i've actually worked and prayed for doesn't seem like it belongs to me. honestly, i've always been avoiding this certain something just to realise that it all piled up and gradually became a bigger problem. yes, i admit i was worried about people around and i did fall into their trap, but now i've become smarter and i do realise there's much more to all this. i'm sick and tired of current things. it's true, i always knew that this will either make or break me. just when i really need to forget everything, it's haunting me much more than ever, and no, ignoring me isn't helping. i thought you were different, i know you are. i did blow away so many chances and i regret. now tell me, why am i feeling this way? when i can just jump to a whole new story easily? i feel weird, and i think i'm getting myself into hell-a-lot of unnecessary confusion. it feels like as though my whole body is tearing apart. and i AM trying to tell myself that this is only a slip, not a fall. i do not believe that at the end of the day, the good people suffer. and with this little respect i still have for you, i want to make things better. i'm afraid i've to just let go. maybe things are telling me to, but something is stopping me. and it clearly becomes very difficult when i insist on holding on to things which very dearly have gone beyond my control. elena, let-freaking-go! release yourself from imaginary chains. life is too short to hold on to things that do not make sense anymore! but it's like i'm stuck. someone slap me and help me realise that i'm only human. sigh help me. till then, i shall believe in the power of prayer and wait for awesome me to come back. :D ily.
.

" with God, all things are possible"

goodbye :(

2009-08-07T22:03:00.018+08:00

sigh i can't believe everything's over!

all those extremely fun times, i'm missing you guys so badly already. we all are :(

everyday was a new story and every night was a late night. LOL

now like everyone says, it's back to shitty reality.

freaking books, fugly homework, trials, FINALSS! o.O

did i not say time will fly this fast? why oh why??

anyway, happy belated raksha bandhan everyone!

punjabi style of sisters appreciating their brothers :)

.
.

sanjay and sunny claim we don't do any work in granny's. here's proof losers!
.

fam photoshoot. these are our version of pics. the real ones are yet to come :D

ARCHERY! my first and definitely not last time :D

I ROCKK!
.

.
.

rajesh's and henny's engagement.

sunway's bloody screampark. it's worth the price and name. yes we did scream our lungs out.

more pics in my latest album on fb! i gotta feeling.

azlan iskandar! malaysian squash player :D

12:34:56 07/08/09

may all your wishes come true!

the official video of the year (or maybe next ten years LOL)

by famous clowns of taylor's hartamas sigh!

till then. XOXO.

let us twist baby!

2009-08-03T21:39:00.004+08:00

UPDATES peopleee!

1. HARRY POTTER WAS BEYAWESOME! beyond awesome. i don't get why many people didn't like it. stupiddd. i know it was more like a love story but hey, for a change right?? the only person that really got on my nerves in the whole movie was bloody bellatrix. she needs to die, and she will in the next movie. i will stand up and clap when that happens. and poor dumbledore, he had to die though i don't know how many times he died in real life already. i loveee harry potter!

1. i am extra hyper nowadays and god knows why. my poor college friends become my victims. i'm sorry but i know without me, life will be very different. and i know you'll love me max. we need all this crazyness because college life sucks. sigh. time flies. the highlight : today was ganesh's worst physics day ever. just before everything could happen, he claimed that today is the most chilling day in phy lab. looks like he cursed himself. before entering, he took hadi's paper, friend from another class and brought it into our class to steal the results. so now ganesh has his original and hadi's one. little did he know, mr lim was lack of one paper. as the exp was going on, mr lim walked around and suddenly saw ganesh with two papers. so he thought ganesh took the extra one causing one girl not to have any. i'm actually laughing here thinking about how ganesh was trying to cover up because obviously mr lim couldn't take hadi's paper and if he took the other set, ganesh would not have any. and we were supposed to hand it in after the exp itself. me being they very blur one, told mr lim that i'm sure ganesh didnt have extra causing him to take the other paper.then i realised that it wasn't his. hahaha the best part was, there were writing and results on both. then ganesh had to go photostat a paper for himself, using toilet as the excuse. less than 20 mins after he came back, he really needed to go to the toilet. haha now he used his calculator as the excuse. finally, he wrote his results and drew his graph all. our graph was increasing but his was decreasing. why? because his calculator was in radian mode. HAHAHA so all the calculations were wrong. sigh poor thing. physics shall never be as bad anymore. every dog has its day :D

3. a maldives student from my college passed away on friday. from the a-levels june intake. although i never really knew you, i hope you rest in peace. sigh like i said, everyone is just suddenly dying and honestly, this is freaking me out. why oh why? i pray that your family gets all the strength they need to go through this hard period. RIP.

4. and OMG, the idiotic police stopped me again today on the way back from college. for speeding it seems. and as i was alone, my heart WAS beating a lil fast. but i confidently said i didnt speed and i was definitely, yes DEFINITELY below 80. how the hell can you speed if there's bad traffic and you're stuck in the middle lane? PPPPPFFFFFT. that dude was nice enough to go and double check, true enough my number plate wasn't on the list. malaysian police i tell you. that mont kiara road is my 'phobia' road. i got caught once there, it really made an impact. after the police area, everything goes back to normal. 100kmh. teeheee. and that police dude was not bad looking. :D

when the ODO was 2409, my luckynumber.

it's my birth date, my number plate and it's in my hp num tooo!

quite blur. i have a clearer one but it already turned 2410.

5. i've a family photoshoot tmr and heck im excited! i shall be posing max with savira and all! yeayyy. but the fact that my couzs all are going back to UK on thurs night sucks. i will definitely miss them. and i know they'll miss me too. all my sarcasm with sanjay and sunny. LOL. i'm already missing mum's side so badly. sigh time fliesss.

that's all for now. i still have some other stuff to blog about but am too lazy now. XOXO.

hawt!

2009-07-31T18:54:00.004+08:00

latest gossip on michael jackson.

HE HAS A SECRET SON!

omer bhatti, product of mj and a norwegian fan.

i do not know anything else about him.

you know what? i think people should just leave mj alone. isn't his death enough for all of you? PFFFFT. so what if he has another son? or if he has ten other children? now there are reports saying that he isn't the father of his three children. they're young, can you bloody well leave them alone? yes, mj's dad is another idiot. He admitted that omar is mj's son to the world. and he's fighting for the rights of mj's three other kids because he thinks they have 'musical potential' especially blanket, the youngest one. First you ruin your own son, now his children. are you sick in your head or what? just shutup up and relax! you're old, you'll be joining your son up there soon. annoying shyt. and to the doctor who poisoned michaeljackson, i hope you burn in hell. along with every evil person around him while he was still alive. lifelessidiots.

omer bhatti

he's actually quite hot in this pic. and he does look like mj. oh dear.
.

he was at mj's memorial, the front row with the family members.
.

anddd, all you guys out there.

I THINK MEGAN FOX IS REALLY A GUY.

mitchell reed fox,

parents gave 'her' or him or it a sexual surgery as a 16th birthday gift.

i dont know, it might not be true.

but she's hot. i mean he.

my very 'awesome' cousin nikkhil had a debate with me over this and i do not know from where or how he came up with the idea that yasmin ahmad is also a guy. ZOMG?

i just gave him the look because half of what he says is crap as always.

BUTTT, it's actually on the internet.

google has this : yasmin ahmad lelaki.

anyhowww, RIP yasmin. screw the rumours. even if they're real, you made awesome movies.

like i said, watchable malay movies.
.

.
i am gonna watch harry potter soooon.

can't actually believe a big fan like me is watching the movie a week late.

maybe all the stories that it's a bad movie turned me off.

the only person that said the movie was not bad is bryan, another crazy fan.

it better be, boy!
.

xoxo

2009-07-30T21:25:00.003+08:00

" If you love something, let it go.

If it comes back to you, it's yours.

but if it doesn't, it never was. "

i'm a barbie girl :D

2009-07-30T18:30:00.006+08:00

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

Love the people who treat you right and forgive those who don't.

Everyone deserves a second chance.

In a day, when you do not come across any problems, you can be sure that you are travelling in the wrong path.

But believe that everything happens for a reason.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,

doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.

Never frown, even if you're sad,

because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

Nobody said life would be perfect, they just promised it would be worth it.

DON'T TRY SO HARD, THE BEST THINGS COME WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT THEM TO.

hello everyone, i'm finally back to actual blogging. and i have lotss to writee. This post, as i said, will be mostly words, enough of the pictures for now. Firstly, i've been sick for already a month now. and no, it's not fun being sick. I've been finishing all the tissue boxes in my house that my mum started giving me toilet rolls. and thanks to my sensitive like skin, my nose turns red very often making me look like rudolph! oh i hate this.

Time is actually flying so freaking fast, not like i never knew that but it's just unbelieveable now. Mum's side from aussie has already gone back and i'm missing them heaps! Next week, dad's side will be going back to UK. I'm definitely going to miss all this. Penang last week was awesome besides the fact that i'm sunburnt and my skin is peeling like a snake! One thing to remember : the rojak uncle was singing 'rojak, rojak' to the tune of barbie girl. LOL. and i have that song on my latest cd now. thank you ganesh!

College currently sucks. I don't see why my mood to study isn't there. Yeah it was the same months before SPM. ifreakinghatechemistry. and thinking about the future is driving me nuts. I have no idea about what i'm definitely going to do. and as i said, time is flying. I wish i could turn back time. Seriously, i would love to change many things. All the chances that were in front of me and i just let them go like that. sighh. oh and yes, that reminds me, my dreams recently have been more than crazy. i swear. everyday there's a different story about getting and giving a second chance. I'm still trying to understand what it all means. and suddenly there will be this weirdo trying to tell me something. i think that dude looks familiar. maybe someone just poured acid on his face. freaky much.

BTW, there is a celebrity curse going around now. first michaeljackson, then yasmin ahmad and now massa is in bad state. poor thing. talking about yasmin, i respect her for making watchable malay movies. and her movie about gayism was banned in malaysia, bloodystupididiots. Things are freaking me out because people are dying, just like that! before anything happens, i love and appreciate all of you around me. i really do. and to 'you', i know you dont read blogs, but i was going to write a note to you. elena changed her mind. :D and it's a good thing.

and lastly, i don't know what ganesh and sze were texting each another about, all i know is the phone reached me and the awesome convo started. have fun reading.

sze : go pluck your ******. (he thought the hp was with ganesh)

me : excuseme, where's your manners?

sze : what are you, a girl now? don't have ***** is it? ( he still thought it was ganesh :D )

me : yes, i AM a girl. My name is mariaelena. You can call me awesome. Nice to meet you BTW!

ganesh : FYI, although i'm a drug dealer, it doesn't mean i can't have manners.

( yes, their lame story from football jerseys to wannabe drug dealers )

sze : go away, i don't want to talk to you.

me : but i wanna talk to youuuu. You are so cute. My friend ganesh said you look like a baby orangutan. Awwww. and BTW, i aint no drug dealer.

sze : your friend is gay. If you're not a dealer, go away. I want my supply. (jokes people)

me : buttt baby orangutans dont take drugs. why are you extinct-ing another species? i need to call WWF. dont be like michaeljackson. (randonmess i know LOL)

sze : just because there are many retards like you does not mean i cant kill all of you.

ganesh : ....... and i thought MCKL was a prominent place. how did you get in? (something about bryan's moral teacher came up)

AFTER A FEW MORE LAME TEXTS

sze : i can't bang you brahmless people nicely now. ( i think he meant brainless LOL)

me : and i think you should work on your spelling.

sze : don't play games.

me : do not disturb. we are microscoping your blood. the frog blood. i'm beyawesome.

sze : you again, go away.

me : bloody hell, you replying and telling me to go away. I see what MCKL has done to you. ganesh said, i dont know what he's trying to say about you.

(that was because the hero ganesh was microscoping and talking at the same time and i didnt get shyts about what he was trying to say. all i heard was sze, problems, and some other stuff we dont want to know. lol it looked like as though he was talking to the microscope haha)

sze : no cannot

me : eh nothing is impossible. learn how to be positive like me. (randomness no 2)

sze : sigh kids.

me : sigh orangutans. LOOL

i indeed have awesomely hillarious friends. the only reason why college life can be fun. i'm satisfied with everything i've said in this post. thats all for now.

ps - thank you god, you and i know for what. :D

XOXO

It still isn't overrrr!

2009-07-27T19:46:00.019+08:00

.
oh dear, there's just so many things to blog about. everyday is a whole new story since fam from both sides came down. last thurs, we had a dinner/party sort of thing for both mum's side and dad's side. yeah i shall let the pics speak again. :)
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it's not necessary that when you have a pool table, you have to play! we made better use of it xD
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my other half. she just loves me!

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the chess time

(yes i do not know how to play and no i do not intend to learn because it gives me migraine :D)

like vivek said, kya jodi hai! (i'm just kidding sunny.)
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the lazy australian!
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no i was NOT trying to kiss her.
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the dad's side. :D
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yes, he wishes.
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thank the photographer, sunny.
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this was the other dinner we had for the aussies.

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spot my eyebags. sighh
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highlight of the day : we made gerrard taste frog. yeah without him knowing of course. had to lie it was chicken. that was how i got tricked last time! and plan : success!

you know we love you gerry!

.
take one.
.

take two.

take three.

omg we took one hour just to make him eat one piece. but we're pretty awesome actors.

the poor frogs are all on crutches now. (because we ate their legs LOL)

i only took a pic with it. eewwww disgusting!

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gerry's tattoo. it says PEACE, LOVE and HARMONY. i think.
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aussies trying to dance. "trying to"

everything ended at almost 6am and everyone fell asleep in my house. and i woke up for college the next day. i'm awesome.

that's all for now. i shall be bloggin with more words tmr! cutting down on the pics baybeh!

xoxo

Merchants of Bollywood!

2009-07-27T18:42:00.010+08:00

dear all, i am heartfully sorry for the very late post. but as i promised, here it is. i love you'll!
.
.

and so, we finally went for the very awesome merchants of bollywood! an australian musical about the granddaughter of a famous bollywood legend who decided to take a turn in her life. the story line was not bad, but the performances and everything were amazing. especially their colourful costumes and pretty pretty deco. sadly we couldn't take pics during the show. bloody security people would shine this stupid red light when you take your cam or mobile out. PFFFT.

some of us took an lrt from i dont know where to where and then a monorail from the first station to the last station on the list. it was a not-so-pleasing journey. i'm not kidding. thank you savira for making me walk like an idiot on my heels for almost half an hour in brickfields. AT NIGHT!

this was when savira decided to make-up in one of the very dirty, fugly restrooms.

we finally reached istana budaya in one piece. thanks to dini's dad who fetched us from the station eventhough the traffic was horrible. and we had amazing seats thanks to savira who booked early despite all the problems. later, we shifted down to the more expensive seats LOL. thankiee nipun.

overall, the show was amazing and the main actor, UDAY, was just something you can smile about the whole day. he's everything but short. SADDD. now let the pictures speak!

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the two clowns who couldn't stop dancing and were shaking the damn seats the whole night.
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the pose she planned long before the show. LOL

some of the dancers. too bad we couldn't meet the hottie. :(

xoxo

blow me awayyy!

2009-07-19T20:25:00.016+08:00

elena is officially going through her superduperfreakingovershytexhaustion period.
oh dear god, never thought i'd ever be this tired.

dad's side, uncle sushil, aunt kamal, tina, sanjay and his friend sunil are finally down from UK.

it's been awesome so far but the fact that i get max 3 hours sleep everyday sucks.

my eyebags are just gettin from bad to worse.

mum's side will be coming down from aussie tmr.

I DON'T WANT TO IMAGINE WHAT I WILL LOOK LIKE AFTER THAT!

but like they all say, it's worth it. :)

.
obviously, the week has been more than hectic. i shall jump to the highlights.

tuesday was grandma's 72nd birthday. ily dadima.

we had this small celebration for her as she didnt want anything big before her overnight function. yes they rather keep things low. unlike us xD

feeding the wrong person. LOL

thursday, we started decorating the house for the function. at first it was fun, after that we were dropdeadtired. and it wasnt fun anymore i swear.

when the very lazy ones have their 24 hour break xD

and the very good ones get their 5 mins off :D:D

my name in hindi :D
.

we then did our countdown for sanjay's 18th, malaysian time and style.

although he claims it was too early since we're ahead of the british time pfffft.

HAPPY SEXY 18TH BOY! I loveee you.

the morning the prayers started. our pretty pretty deco!
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the party begins!

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when the awesome one feeds. teeheee.

sunny with the CAKE BOX! lol oopps.
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off to bed. not really.

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part 2 the next morning
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the end of dadi's function. was real fun besides the fact we were working our butts off.

today, we were supposed to go to sunway lagoon. sadly they called it off because i fell ill. i love you guys! so we planned to watch harry potter. that obviously didnt happen because it's the first sunday since the movie was released and only a miracle would get us tickets. sad much. chacha took us to kl instead to some plaza and we went there to find out they've closed it down. had lunch in chacha's restaurant, bangkok connection.

then headed to pyramid for ice skating. i'm not talking about this.

thank you sanjay and sunny for helping me around. i couldnt even stand on the bloddy skates.

guess i can watch hp in penang with mum's side. although i know they would rather commit suicide. LOL. and i can't wait for merchants of bollywood this tues. yeayyy!

ELENA DOESNT WANT TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE! helppp me.

xoxo

Ain't No Sunshine.

2009-07-08T16:02:00.008+08:00

heal the world

There's A Place In Your Heart

And I Know That It Is Love

And This Place Could Be Much Brighter Than Tomorrow

And If You Really Try

You'll Find There's No Need To Cry

In This Place You'll Feel There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways To Get There

If You Care Enough For The Living

Make A Little Space

Make A Better Place

Heal The World

Make It A Better Place

For You And For Me

And The Entire Human Race

There Are People Dying

If You Care Enough For The Living

Make A Better Place For You And For Me

i became an overnight fan of michael jackson. before this, i just loved his dancing ; the moonwalk. i have no idea why i'm feeling different about this. me, mum and dad watched his memorial till 5am! yes, i cried. the speeches especially his brother's one at the end was awesome and the performances were touching, i swear. he should have at least completed his comeback tour. a final touch. sigh.
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and btw, his spirit appeared on larry king live while they were going around his neverland ranch. GO YOUTUBE IT. freaky much. but it looks real. i wish mj suddenly comes back alive. well miracles do happen. andd i think he IS actually good looking. plus he changed the lives of many people. god bless you, mj. oh, i'm so emo.

R.I.P Michael Jackson.

you make the world go round.

we will always heart you.

(bore/fun)-dom

2009-07-05T20:27:00.020+08:00

you know sometimes when you're extremely bored and have absolutely nothing to do, you'll come up with the crappiest stuff and it turns out to be pure fun!

my sis was very proud after she completed her prefect assignments for some stupid duty.

she typed it all in the comp and left it there to have her bath.

little did she know that i was very bored.

this was on the comp before she printed it.

zooom : you'll see numbers with the class teacher's name below.

this is what i changed it into. and i didnt save the original. WHOOOPS. i swear i forgot, no bad intentions.

and i was proud of my masterpiece. teeehee

after that, i was literally dying so i started doing what i do best. envy me. :D
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i got into trouble with dad for something and my sis covered up for me surprisingly. I LOVE YOU DIANA. but im still not accepting you on facebook.

her attempt to fly.

I LOVE MYSELF

and so i met my long lost bestie, NIPUNCHABBRA, in mumbai se.

we usually catch up by texting or msn.

i know i always ffk when there's an outing. sorry.

meeting him after a long time was good.

he said i looked different. nicer. YEAY ME! credits to the gym.

and also, i looked disturbed. LOL.

there's nothing wrong with me, nipun. i swear.

and so we were texting. talking about reportcardday and how shitty my results are.

nipun : you are sensible compared to so many girls out there. but why do you choose to do the mistake? when avoiding it and being better in life is what you do best.

yes nipun, i actually saved this text in my saved items.

im taking that as very good advice. i have to stop all my crap.

as bad as it sounds, my july is already packed before i can even begin anything.

i HAVE to sacrifice some stuff. and im going to. im sorry.

God, all i ask for is the strength to go through this.

i had tears in my eyes when dad saw my results. mixedfeelings.

but he didnt scold me or anything, maybe he knows i will work hard towards the end.

I HAVE TO WORK EXTREMELY HARD NOW. and i will.

thank you miss charmaine for all the good comments, i needed them.

and the teachers said i am too sociable. LOL. i think thats actually a good thing.

obviously not for my dad.

but anyway, i always need a wake up call. this time, nipun did it. thankyouu.

and like you said, why wait for the world to knock on me then only start over?

true, i'd rather you do it than the world or people i hate in particular.

so elena shall be nerding again this time. bring back the spm memories baybehh.

oh, and i cut my hair xD

xoxo

'every sixty seconds you spend being upset,

is a minute of happiness you will never get back'

Mumbai Se, finally.

2009-07-05T13:56:00.021+08:00

aim : clubbing - started

mumbai se - COMPLETED!

the day was INSANE. i was practically driving around the whole damn day. and i thought driving was fun. pfffft.

went to college one hour late in the morn thanks to my stomach.

after that, fetched savira from sunway college. for obvious reasons, nash drove in front of me all the way. thanks nash!

on the way, i was happily on the hp and this police dude suddenly appeared beside me.

i threw my handphone on the floor and just smiled at him. pretended like i was singing so you know, wouldnt be too obvious. teeheee. i had a horrible time trying to pick my hp up.

never try that!

savira decided to surprise dadima and i said no, we should call her first. no one listens to me!

went to dadi's house, she wasnt at home. im a phsycic. luckily she was on the way home, i swear i would have murdered savira if not. so while waiting for dadi, we went and bought some food.

diet plan : skipped :D

drove to savira's house in kelana jaya to fetch her clothes for clubbing!

while she was in, i saw this dude in the trees. and he was just staring. i wanted to know wth he was doing, so i became a heroin and drove around the thingy there a few times to look at him.

when savira was done, we drove around again a few times.

he gave us his very, very weird look. i dont blame him.

then we headed to TRUE SPA for our back massage. i can still feel the pain now. SIGH.

went back home, got ready and drove to hartamas.

left for mumbai se at 11 something.

let the pictures speak.

we left at around 3 something and i had to drive back from hartamas. reached home at 4 and dropped dead.

next day PARENT-TEACHER DAY, stupid report card day.

i'm very tired now. shall blog about this later.
till then!

Helo Bali!

2009-07-01T21:48:00.011+08:00

saturday night, we decided to take tina di to HELO BALI!

me and savira were considered lucky to go coz in the fam, we're still the illegal kiddos. sadd.

so we had dinner in rainforest then headed to helo bali around 11 something.

felt quite cool entering the vip style. thank you chacha! :D

and that night, i saw the cool side of all my aunties. awesome much. now i know where the gene came from. im so proud of you'll.

our usual sessions - dancing, laughin, camwhoring.

we HAD to leave at around 3am because there was a police raid next door.

so thanks to the under 18's (savira and me), we had to sit at the dining area outside.

it was still fun. LOL as always, it's the company that matters.

some of the pics we took. still waiting for the rest. will post them up soon.

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thank you for taking me and savira. we're looking forward to this friday. MUMBAI SE baybehh!
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UPDATES. there's just so many things to talk about i have no idea where to start.

1. i'm back to college and it sucks. why did i think leaving high school would be the best thing ever? sigh

2. i officially resigned from the student council of TCSH. might not really be a good thing, but i had no choice. given two situations, i picked the more important one. thanks guys for the awesome six months.

3. and OMG, akon's concert has been postponed. to 24th october. my finals are then! UGHH.

4. btw, my sis has facebook. let me rephrase that, MY 9 YEAR OLD SIS HAS FACEBOOK. what webpages did i have when i was 9? hello? ive ignored her friend request like a trezillion times, and im warning you guys too, DO NOT ADD HER. sooner or later, she'll be having more friends and PICS than i do. WTF?

5. with all the bad news, there's def the good ones. I HAVE A NEW LAPTOP. mainly because my sis complained about her not wanting to share with me. so she was supposed to get the new one. obviously, a master mind like me wouldnt just keep shut. wtv wtv i did, i have the new one now. yeayyy.

6. and yes, my dad got a personal coach for me and sis for tennis. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY SUDDENLY. but anyway, it might be fun. so it's gym 4 times a week, tennis twice and one rest day :D

7. like manloong agreed, our lifestyle should be exactly like GOSSIP GIRL. one day you're with someone, the next day with his best friend, the following you become his best friend and after that you're with his sibling. no problem at all. i think the last thing someone would wanna do is to stress over one person. i personally know it's not worth it. many people are just the same nowadays. so if they wanna have fun, why not us too? RIGHT? i think GG did teach me a lot of stuff. lovehate relationships. friendship. loyalty. disloyalty. but at the end of the day, many things happen just to test you. we might see the light at the end, but going through it may not be worth it. i hate this.

8. it's 1st of july. i need a change. i've planned all my stuff. from study timetables to diet plans. looking at a very bright future. but forgetting the past is definitely the hardest thing to do. honestly i never thought it will all push me this far. and the best part is, i dont know what im confused about. it's still so hard to believe certain things. i wish i can reverse time and not repeat this same mistake. but anyway, life goes on. and it IS true that you'll learn alot of lessons along the way. i just didnt wish for this to be a lesson. HAIH. but it aint in my hands so all i can do now is forget everything and pray this wouldnt haunt me. the old fun, happy-go-lucky me needs to come back. ASAP. and if you read this, i hate you for everything. but it's hard i swear. i've come to a dead end, you have to tell me where to go.

9. TCSH parent-teacher day. not a good thing of course. at least i'll be clubbing the night before :D

10. mitchellsooszeee is the slowest living thing on earth, i swear. bless his poor soul. i saved the best for the last. teeheee

for some reason, i'm so glad i have a blog. trust becomes the limiting factor in every human nowadays. oh dear bio. and if i dont change tomorrow onwards, call me an idiot. i mean it. this waste-of-time thinking needs to stop.

thats all for now. xoxo.

Get busy, baybehh!

2009-06-27T13:50:00.009+08:00

the last i checked, this is the confirmed list of my happenings in JULY 2009.

june :

25th - Tina surprises dadima from UK.

28th - Miss Charmaine's class party

29th - CAL orientation (student council)

.........- Ladies day out :)

30th - Back to college (sigh)

JULY :

2nd - AKON's beach concert

3rd - spa with tina and savira

.......- clubbing at mumbai se!

4th - Taylor's open day (another SIGH)

6th - IB orientation (student council)

10th-12th - temple youth camp (im still not sure, but i doubt i'll be going)

11th - Suba's wedding (mum's side)

........- aunt kamal (dad's sis), uncle sushil, sanjay, sanj's friend arrive from UK

14th - dadima's 73rd bday

15th - aunt theresa (mum's sis), uncle pete, gerrard and frank arrive from aussieland!

16th - Harry Potter! (savira, plz book ASAP)

17th - Sanjay's 18th bday

17th-18th - dadima's overnight function.

18th - flight to singapore for uncle pete's bday!

19th - back home sweet home!

.........- Taylor's 'Jog for Hope'

21st - Frank's bday.

........-Merchants of Bollywood concert with tuition gang

23rd-26th - St Anne's feast in Penang (mum's side)

27th - Clinique makeup workshop

this doesn't include our family getaways both mum's and dad's side. all the parties and functions.

note that there is no way i can go for the MU match in malaysia(18th) and liverpool match in singapore (26th) although i have free tickets. SIGH.

and the next month will fly that i will hardly notice time. and that aint good because I DON'T WANT EVERYTHING TO END SO FAST! :(

UPDATES.

-I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE. H1N1, help? and no, NOT ME. (jk)

-savira, our photoshoot?!?

-my advice : never attempt to drive when you're in pain. SERIOUSLY. esp stomach ache. SIGH!

and lastly, R.I.P Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett.

xoxo

Smileee.

2009-06-23T11:58:00.015+08:00

We had this sort of family meeting in granny's on sunday.

had loads to plan for her overnight function next month. and i cant wait!

since i was gonna stay over, i drove myself.

and i went like two hours after dad which means i found the way myself. :D

everyone went back at like 12.30am.

my uncle took my car to work since it was blocking his.

and suddenly savira, dadi and me decided to go for supper.

i swear i dont know what we did to my uncle's car.

we missed one stupid turning, took the extra long way

while u-turning, the gear button came out.

IT FREAKING CAME OUT!

and we couldn't put the damn thing into reverse mode or any shyt!

savira, your fault!

she was panicking while i was laughing my lungs out. sorry

went and reached home in one piece.

got all the lecture from dadi at home only.

and then i realised i left my bag in my own car.

had to wait for my uncle to get back to take my contact lenses out.

i was literally going blind.
.

the next day, savira bugged the hell out of me to go out with our tuition gang.

it was mr.raj's birthday so we decided to meet him as well.

went to bangsar village, took one year finding for the valet parking.

went for lunch, and then to midvalley in saveen's car.

OMG saveen your driving sucks btw!
.

when we parked the car, we made sure we noted every single detail of that place so we wouldnt have to spend hours finding for the stupid car again.

dini even took a pic of the car. LOL

i dont know why everyone didnt want to go bowling. maybe they just suck at it.

met bhinesh and went to the game arcade.

i played the shooting game. quite fun. teeehee.
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after that we tried the stupid gambling game.

we knew winning the hp and all was a lie. god knows why we tried it.

IT IS SUCH AN ADDICTION I SWEAR.

we spent like 30 bucks on that dumb machine.

and we were screaming and laughing so loud everyone kept staring at us.

obviously, we didn't win anything. but it was fun!
.

then we rushed to mr raj's place to surprise him. none of us were even sure whether it was his birthday or not. PFFFFT savira.

reached his house, nobody wanted to ring the doorbell. LOL

his wife sort of lied to him so that we could surprise him. how sweet of her.

you can never expect that.

i'm sure mr raj and the rest were happy to see us.

was supposed to meet ritesh ji after that.but it was getting late and i needed to go to the gym.

sorry ritesh, i still love you!

then i dropped the clowns to the lrt station. met my ex class teacher on the way.

got back home. went gyming with savira.

i was so tired i had no mood to do anything in the gym. hence the pics.

i almost fainted doing the treadmill. sickening.

ate in A&W, came back home and dropped dead.
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LATEST NEWS.

my sis's school, assunta 2, is under the dangerous category of the H1N1 disease. she's being so paranoid because she knows the girl who got it. UGH!

and this area is also affected. damn.

i'm waiting for my coll to announce extra holz too. LOL

i'm the first to see all the letters in my house every morning. waiting for you, TAYLOR's. bloody results.

the convo i had with my dad yest.

me : dad, what if diana has H1N1?

dad : (gives me the you're-very-stupid look)

me : what if i get? im feeling feverish, having flu, headache.

dad : okay, lets go get a jab. you stop going out. no shopping. no malls. stay at home.

me : okay, i think i feel much better now. it might just be normal flu.
.

HAHA things can be so hillarious at times. i love you, dad.

i have the latest season of GOSSIP GIRL! yeayyy. thanks yoshi.

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and i have muscles. :D :D

My daddy, my hero!

2009-06-21T15:32:00.011+08:00

the greatest gift i've ever had,

came from God, i call him DAD!

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then..

now..

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HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
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if you're reading this, thank you for everything and i love you so much dad!

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lotsa lotsa love from the both of us

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some very very old pics i found
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dad and mum

yes , i was very cute. :D :D

Up is where we go from here!

2009-06-19T18:47:00.005+08:00

" If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. "

Life!

2009-06-19T17:21:00.007+08:00

.
my chinese horoscope for year 2009.
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This will be a difficult year for you. Although you will have a small helpful star shining upon you, it will be inadequate to stave off all the challenges that you might meet along the way. However, it will still be better than nothing. It will be important for you to count your blessings this year and appreciate what you have. There will be many problems that will happen this year that will seem to challenge your patience and might seem like they are out to get you. You will tend to be short tempered and impulsive which will be at odds with your nature. For you to better survive this year, you should try to remain calm and remind yourself not to be impulsive and not to over react to situations in a hasty manner or out of desperation. Your health will be unstable due to the stress and anger you might have accumulated throughout the course of the year. Your wealth will also be below average due to your own high expenses and impulsive spending patterns. Furthermore, you might also be cheated. Your intuition might not be your best guide this year. Thus, you should try to be easy on yourself and others and learn the lessons of life and not to make things worse. Keep a low profile and focus on finding peace within yourself.
.
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i'm amazed at how true the horoscopes can be. after reading that, i received an email.

it was like as though it was all planned. freakkyyy!

NOTE FROM REGINA BRETT, 90 YEARS, OHIO.

"to celebrate getting older, i wrote the lessons life taught me"

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

5. It's okay to get angry with God. He can take it.

6. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up your present.

7. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is about.

8. Everything can change in a blink of an eye, but don't worry. God never blinks.

9. When it comes to going after what you love in life, never take no as an answer.

10. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

11. THE MOST IMPORTANT SEX ORGAN IS THE BRAIN!

12. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, 'in 5 years time, will this matter?'

13. What other people think of you is none of your business.

14. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

15. Believe in miracles.

16. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

17. All that truly matters at the end is that you loved.

18. If we threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

19. The best is yet to come.

20. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it is still a gift.